


Red Eyes, Take Warning

by a_stands_for



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Biting, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Fight Sex, M/M, Slash, Tentacles, Xeno, tentabulge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-04
Updated: 2012-04-04
Packaged: 2017-11-03 00:51:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/375245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_stands_for/pseuds/a_stands_for
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the kink meme.  Originally posted Aug 2011.</p>
<p>In which Dave and Karkat bond over their similarities in the worst way possible.  Somehow, this is John and Vriska's fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Eyes, Take Warning

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: John and/or Vriska walking in on Dave and Karkat. Originally posted [here](http://homesmut.livejournal.com/9406.html?thread=13696958#t13696958).
> 
> (Today the A stands for Anger)

“Check it out!” Dave overheard Vriska say as she plopped onto John's lap, draping her arms over his shoulders.

“Check what out?” the derp replied, all smiles and curiosity. Dave struggled to tune out their lovey-dovey crap as he worked on his latest ironically shitty comic series.

“My eyes are starting to turn!” the spiderbitch cheered, to the cool-guy's confusion. He couldn't help but peek over in their direction, his interest safely hidden behind his impenetrable shades. John seemed to know exactly what she was referring to, though, as he was now gazing soulfully into her orange peepers like he was enacting some kind of embarrassingly genuine confession scene from one of his crappy movies.

“Hey, they really are! They're not nearly as dark as they used to be. I guess this means you're officially an adult troll now, huh?”

“Mm-hmmm,” she purred, trailing her fingers over John's neck in a manner that was making his face turn red. “We should do something to celebrate, don't you think?”

“Hey, take that shit somewhere else,” Dave finally interrupted, tired of those two always showing off. He still couldn't believe they'd lasted this long. His attempt at dating Terezi had been spectacularly short. “What are you two talking about, anyway?”

“What, don't you know?” John asked in surprise.

“If I _knew_ , I wouldn't be asking, now would I?”

Vriska snorted. “See, this is why you're the only human kid still single! You never make any effort to learn anything, you don't show any interest! For your information, when trolls get old enough, the black part of our eyes fills in with our blood color. It's the final sign of our maturity!”

John giggled. “Remember when you thought I was a blue-blood because of my eye color?”

Vriska huffed and shoved at him playfully. “Shut up!”

“Just think, soon our eyes will practically match!” He grinned widely, obviously thrilled with the idea.

“Heh, Kanaya will be a close match for Jade,” Vriska said as she pondered. “Bet that will piss Rose off.”

“Who will Rose match?”

“Hmmm. Not really anyone. I guess the closest would be Eridan.” The two looked at each other, then burst out into hysterical laughter.

Dave didn't like the way this conversation was headed. Suddenly, he didn't feel like making comics anymore. Standing abruptly, he stalked toward the transportalizer that would take him out of the computer room and into another part of the lab. He wasn't quite fast enough.

“Hey Dave,” came the innocent question. “What color are _your_ eyes? I've never seen you without your sunglasses.”

The pale-haired kid clenched his hands, out of his best friend's sight. “Shit, man, you couldn't handle the awesomeness that is the Strider gaze attack. One look and you'd be forsaking your girlfriend there for this forbidden fruit, and then where would we be?” He took the last few steps up onto the platform and the lab vanished around him, taking him to safety.

The hub of transportalizers stretched silently before him, not a soul in sight. He checked all around him though, just to be sure. Nope, he was definitely alone. He finally allowed himself to grit his teeth with an audible grinding noise, the only sign he would permit of his sudden overwhelming irritation. He took a few steps toward the dais that would send him to the stretch of hallways and rooms he had claimed for his own, then stopped.

He glared at the etching of a scratched record, then found his eyes shifting almost on their own initiative to the platform marked with the symbol for Cancer. His blood boiled hotly under his skin, and suddenly, he had to know. He had to see for himself.

He had to get this inexplicable anger out of his system.

* * *

Karkat was alone in the dark, watching a troll romcom, when there was a sudden pounding on the door to his quarters. “Who the fuck is it?” he shouted in irritation as he paused the movie, but the person didn't answer, merely continued their assault. Dammit, who dared interrupt his favorite Black romance? He grumbled loudly as he made his way over to the pale glow of the lock button and pounded on it.

For a moment, he could only stare in amazement. Of all the people he thought might be standing in the hallway demanding his immediate attention, Dave Strider was definitely the last. That particular human's loathsome personality and razor tongue was only matched by his ability to completely brush Karkat off like he didn't exist. It was perhaps the most infuriating combination of traits ever gifted upon a living creature. Or cursed upon one. Whatever.

“What's your problem, nooksucker?” the troll snarled, only to find himself suddenly grabbed by the neck of his shirt and forced into the harshly lit hallway. Squinting in the sudden brightness, it took him a moment to realize that he was almost nose to nose with the freckled human. Karkat stared at his reflection in the dark black shades, since he was unable to meet him eye to eye. Dave suddenly stopped moving, stopped breathing, just held him there, inches from his face.

“What?” Karkat asked again, unnerved by the cool-guy's bizarre behavior.

Dave was silent for a few moments more. “Your eyes are turning red,” he finally said blandly.

The troll instantly shot from irritated to furious. “FUCK OFF! Yeah, so what? You wanna make a big deal about it, you rancid smelling, squishy pink monkey? Come to rub it in my face that my abnormality is going to put vividly on display for the rest of my life? Fuck you, Strider!”

Dave scoffed. “It's not like anyone here doesn't already know what color your blood is, crab-cakes, no need to get your panties in a wad--”

“I KNOW THAT! But just because the meowbeast has already been released from the holding device doesn't make it any less shameful, doesn't make me any _less_ of a mutant freak--”

POW! For no reason he could explain, Karkat found himself stumbling backwards and clutching his jaw, the Strider human dancing before his vision with his hands curled into fists. The troll's ever-present rage, always simmering near the surface, suddenly erupted in a boiling white-hot fury. With a yowl like an offended bag-stuck feline, Karkat bared his mouthful of fangs and dived forward, catching hold of his foe before he could flashstep away.

“Get the fuck off me!” Dave snarled, revealing his own flat, unimpressive teeth. Neither of them were prepared for a fight, leaving them with only their fists instead of their preferred bladed weapons. Karkat still had claws, however, which he used to dig in to the soft, muscled arm he was clutching. With a guttural, wordless noise the human slammed the troll into the corridor wall, spun him around while he was disoriented, tripped him, and landed hard on top of him. With a labored cough Karkat finally let go, grabbed his face instead, and gave him a headbut. 

Dazed by the blow, Dave was easily kicked off, giving Karkat time to get to his feet again. For a moment they glared at each other, the troll's cheek swelling and the human's arm bleeding.

“Care to actually tell me what this is about, fucktard, or are we just trying to kill each other because you're bored?”

“Do you _ever_ stop griping?” Dave said coolly, or as coolly as he could when he was breathing harshly and red with anger. “I thought you trolls were _always_ itching for a battle. Today's your lucky day, Vantas, I've decided to grace your pathetic self with my glorious presence.”

As expected, the statement sent Karkat out of control, charging forward like he was going to gore him with his silly nubby horns. Dave dodged him deftly this time, turning to watch his expression twist into surprise and fury. He smirked, which caused the troll to fume and charge at him again, this time more cautiously, his claws swinging wide.

Dave dodged swipe after swipe, dancing backwards down the twisting corridors as he led Karkat on. The troll's pupils were contracted with his anger, which only enhanced the budding red color his irises were turning. The sight fueled Dave's own fury, causing him to be less cautious than he should have been. All of his elegant training seemed to abandon him as the blood pounded through his head, screaming at him to beat the shit out of that foul-mouthed, whiny little pissant.

He really should have paid more attention to his surroundings. He knew perfectly well, when he was calm, how the corridors in this place tended to suddenly open up into incredibly long flights of stairs. When he took another lunge backwards and his heel came down on nothing, the toe of his shoe still on the floor, he couldn't help but turn his head and stare down the long drop, his body teetering precariously on the edge.

_Fuck! Why is it always stairs?_ he thought inanely as his momentum carried him over.

A hand grabbed his own, and Dave found himself strangely surprised to see Karkat's panicked expression as the troll attempted to save him. It was almost touching. It was completely useless, though, and instead Karkat was pulled down with him.

In a great tumble of bouncing torsos and flailing limbs, the two men rolled painfully down the staircase, suffering far more painful blows from the inanimate object then the blows they had inflicted on each other. Dave landed with a heavy thud on his back on the landing below, followed a split second later by Karkat landing on top of him. If the fall hadn't knocked the wind out of him, the troll certainly did. For a moment, all he could do was cough for air, the body sprawled across him moaning with pain.

“Well, I'll say one thing for you squishy humans,” Karkat finally managed to say as he struggled to lift his weight off of Dave's chest. “You're pretty soft to land on.”

Dave finally got some air in his lungs and gasped, opening his eyes to glare at the troll above him. “Ow,” he complained weakly.

Karkat opened his mouth to say something that would no doubt piss him off, only to stop and stare with his mouth agape. Dave waited for him to shake it off and say what he was going to say, but as the seconds ticked by he finally realized that it wasn't going to happen. The troll just seemed to want to lay there, on top of him, and gape like an idiot.

“What? I know I'm a good lookin' guy, Vantas, but try to keep it in your pants.”

Even  _that_ didn't get a response. Something was definitely wrong. What, did he have a gaping head wound and his brains were spilling out? You'd think he'd be able to feel something like that, but maybe he was in shock. The lights did seem unusually bright, it was possible his eyes were dilated.

Wait. There was a simpler answer to that.

With sudden panic, Dave worked an arm out from around Karkat's limbs and felt the side of his face. Nothing! No glasses band! His hand quickly brushed over his eyes and trailed up to his hair, hoping the shades had simply slid up his head. No such luck. He turned his head from side to side, searching the landing for his errant shades. He finally spotted them, half folded but still intact, a good distance away. There was no way he could reach them until he kicked the dead weight off of his chest.

Dave wriggled under his captor and gave him a good shove, but Karkat just settled his weight over him as heavily as possible and pinned his arms for good measure, never removing his gaze from Dave's face. He may have been a little shorter, but trolls were denser than humans, and Dave was battered from the fall and unable to get any leverage. “You have red eyes,” Karkat said as neutrally as possible, but couldn't quite disguise the tone of wonder that crept into his voice.

“So what?” Dave snarled, turning to face him once more. “That doesn't mean anything.”

“But then why do you keep them hidden?”

“Because it's my thing. Part of the Strider image. You know, cultivating an air of mystery and irony and all that shit. Nothin' to do with my eye color.”

“Then why did you come banging on my door like an angry drunk-ass hipo-beast to take a peek at _my_ eyes?”

Dave clammed up, mostly because he had no answer to the question. Karkat scowled at his cagey attitude, and decided to pry more indirectly.

“So, have your eyes always been this color?”

“Of course they have. Humans' eyes don't change. Except, like, when they're babies or something.”

“I've never seen any humans with red eyes in the stupid movies John makes me watch.”

“It's... an unusual color.”

“So you hide them because you're embarrassed?”

“What? No! I just explained it to you, is your head full of cotton?”

“I have no idea what that word means, but I'm going to wager it was an insult and say _no._ ”

“Then lay off already!”

“ _You're_ the one who came to pick a fight with me because my eyes are starting to match yours!” the troll shouted, then stared at him in dawning comprehension. Dave cursed silently as Karkat sneered. “ _That's_ what this is about, isn't it? You think your eyes are _special_ , and you can't stand the thought that you have to share your uniqueness with someone like _me_.”

Dave didn't know what pissed him off more, the fact that Karkat was right or the fact that Karkat had figured out his feelings before  _he_ had. “Vantas, if you don't get the fuck off me right now I'm going to  _kill_ you.”

“Good luck on that,” the troll scoffed, shifting his weight on top of him to prove his point. It was a bad move on his part, though, because it caused their groins to rub against each other with electric results. Suddenly they were both sharply aware of the suggestiveness of their current position.

“Vantas,” Dave warned, breathing harshly, his exposed eyes glaring daggers. “Get. Off.”

“No,” Karkat said firmly, a dark satisfaction creeping over him. “After all this time you've spent pissing me off and then ignoring me, I think it's about time I had your undivided attention. You started this, Strider; you're the one who came pounding on my door and picked a fight. It's high time you actually faced the consequences of your own actions.”

Dave's face contorted into an ugly grimace, but it still didn't hide the blood that was rushing to his cheeks. He really, really wished he had his shades right now; the realization that his emotions were on full display was throwing off his game. “Keep your silly one-sided crush to yourself, fucknuts,” he hissed.

“Do you hate me, Strider?”

“ _Gog_ , yes!” he said automatically, then blanched. “Wait, no. I mean, yeah, but--”

Karkat decided to risk it, leaned in, and planted an aggressive kiss over the infuriating man's pink lips. True, the humans didn't originally follow the quadrant system, and even though they had been accepting of the idea, none of them had taken much interest in the black corner. Still, if  _any_ of them were capable of filling the role of a kismesis, Karkat was certain it would be Dave fucking Strider.

His risk paid off. Almost immediately, Dave was kissing just as aggressively back. Karkat shifted his weight to release his captive's arms, and they immediately grabbed the sides of his head, working fingers into his hair as he angled Karkat's head the way he wanted it.

Karkat emitted a pleased rumble from his throat, which Dave would have accused of being a purr if his mouth wasn't otherwise occupied. Instead, he took advantage of Karkat's distraction to finally flip them both over, placing himself squarely on top. Dave winced from the soreness of his fall, but the pain was easy to shrug off in the face of his sudden arousal. The troll growled and bit at Strider's lips, only for the noise to shoot up several octaves into a breathy moan when the human ground their hips together.

“I suppose now's as good a time as any to finally find out what you trolls are packing down there,” he murmured before pulling away and sitting up. Karkat watched him warily as his pale, pink hands slipped to the hem of his pants and undid the fastenings.

“Wow, you don't waste any time, do you?” the troll muttered incredulously. “No wonder Terezi dumped you for being an 'insensitive ass.'”

“Hey, that and this are totally different,” Dave objected. “Unless... don't tell me, the candle-light hate date is a real thing? You want me to woo you with shitty dead flowers and rhymes that are legitimately sick? Declare my eternal enmity with scrawled messages written in the blood of your loved ones? I mean, I suppose we could put this on hold for another day while I--”

“Oh, for—just shut up and pull my pants off already! Gog, you are such a prima dona.”

Dave ripped the troll's pants down with perhaps a bit more force than necessary, then stared. And stared some more. “What.”

“ _What_ what, jerkoff? I know it's a bit different than yours, but I assure you it's perfectly normal for a troll.”

“And how do you know what mine looks like?”

Karkat didn't answer, but suddenly grew very red and refused to look him in the eye. “Look, the point is: unless you can hook one of your human girls, you might as well get used to bone bulges, because we all have them.”

“In what way is that a bone?”

“Of _course_ it's not a bone, moron, it _came out_ of the bone. Hence bone _bulge_.”

“It's a tentacle.”

“It's several tentacles,” Karkat corrected, giving it a wiggle. Dave watched with very wide eyes as the snake-like length split open into a wriggling mass of squirming, glistening feelers. They shifted about on their own accord, searching for something to wrap around. Strider made a strange noise, a cross between a disbelieving laugh and a whimper.

“Don't tell me you're going to chicken out _now_ , Strider,” Karkat said in a mocking tone. Dave's eyes narrowed and he reached out with one hand, prodding one of the questing tentacles with a finger. His breath hitched as they all suddenly converged on his hand, weaving around and intertwining with his fingers. Swallowing, he reached over with his other hand and cautiously stroked the slick organs. Karkat's eyes rolled up in his head.

“That feels good?” Dave asked, curiosity overwhelming his repulsion as he examined the the tentacles.

“Yeah,” he breathed in answer, face flushing. “Though not as good as they'll feel slipping inside a nook.”

A nook, huh? Remembering the odd term that often came up in Karkat's insults, Dave scooted farther down his thighs and examined his nether regions more closely. There was indeed a small hole down there, flushed with arousal and anticipation. Pulling his second hand away from the tentacles, Dave prodded the nook with his now slimy finger and slipped it in. Karkat's reaction was violent and immediate; a rather girlish shriek of pleasure as his entire body trembled. The tentacles around his fingers rippled and writhed in such a suggestive manner that Dave found himself getting harder just feeling them on his _hand_. Once again he found himself desperately wishing for his shades as he felt his face grow hot. He darted a few glances at them, trying to decide how he could extricate himself from Karkat's slippery tenta-bulge so he could dive over and snatch them up.

“I d-don't think so, f-fuckass,” Karkat managed to gasp out around hitching breaths, releasing Dave's hand only to grab him by the shoulders and promptly flip them over again. He lowered his mouth to Dave's neck and pressed his teeth warningly against the soft flesh, ever-so-slightly breaking the surface with his razor-sharp fangs. Dave stilled beneath him, wary of the damage he could do. At least Karkat couldn't see his face, this way. 

The troll's hands slid down to his pants so he could rip them down in a similar manner. He slid to one side but didn't let go with his teeth, so Dave bent his knees up to help him push the clothing down to his feet. As they stuck fast on his shoes, however, Karkat took advantage of Dave's flexibility and pried his knees apart, re-pinning him with his legs spread. The submissive position offended Dave immediately, but he wasn't sure how to break out of it when the troll was latched to his jugular like that.

Then all thoughts of dignity fled his mind as Karkat lowered himself flat across his body again, and those tentacles began wrapping and squeezing around his cock.

Now it was Dave's turn to make a highly embarrassing noise. He swallowed, turning bright red as Karkat chuckled against his throat. At least the bastard couldn't actually  _say_ anything, not if he wanted to keep Dave from flipping them over again. Dave gritted his teeth, trying to avoid making another humiliating, un-cool slip, no matter how good Karkat's creepy-ass alien wing-wong felt.

It was surprisingly difficult. Especially when the troll shifted his body to place the entrance of his nook over Dave's now thoroughly slick beef truncheon.  _Especially_ especially when Karkat began easing the tight orifice, meant for a more slender bulge, down over him. Dave was concentrating so hard on not moaning or squeaking that it took him a moment to realize he was panting loudly instead, and by then he couldn't stop.

Karkat was unable to give him any more grief about it, though. He was shaking pretty hard, his fangs beginning to sink in to Dave's neck as he lost concentration.

“Teeth!” Dave choked out. Karkat hastily released his grip, only to shift it closer to his shoulder instead. Still dangerous, but less... instantly fatal. A little blood welled to the surface at the abandoned bite mark, trickling down his skin. Damn it all if the danger wasn't turning him on even more! He wrapped his arms around the body above him, slipping them under Karkat's shirt and dragging his blunt nails across the troll's thick skin as hard as he could. The sudden gasp and frantic tentacle wriggling he earned for that move were immensely satisfying.

When Karkat had at last slid all the way down his shaft, Dave waited patiently for him to get on with it and start riding him, but the troll didn't move. Instead, the slippery feelers of his bulge began slithering past the point of their union, nudging curiously around his balls and even lower. When the first one began prodding at his backdoor, the human suddenly tensed and began to sweat. “What are you doing?” he asked sharply.

Karkat only sank his teeth in a little harder for a response.

“Woah, fuck off. That's not a nook, asshole! You should have hit up one of the girls if that's what you wanted—ah!” Karkat wiggled the first tentacle in a little bit, ignoring Strider's foolish protests. Honestly, how long had he been living here with the trolls? You'd think he would have learned at least a _little_ about their biology, considering his narrow range of dating options. Karkat had certainly made the effort to learn about human romance and intimacy. He had it on good authority (Rose) and very embarrassed authority (John) that the human male waste chute was, in fact, a good equivalent.

He wiggled in another slippery tentacle. Dave finally ceased his infernal complaining, opting instead to return to panting like a woofbeast. With his ear as close as it was to Dave's throat, Karkat could hear every swallow, whimper and stutter of breath to gratifying effect. Upon slipping in a third tentacle, it was easy to pull them apart and stretch him out, slipping most of the rest inside as well.

Oh  _gog_ that felt good. Karkat knew he was drooling all over Dave's shoulder now, but he couldn't help it. The human's nook equivalent may not have had any interior feelers, but it was burning hot and incredibly tight, providing a wonderful friction as he slipped each appendage in and out, individually. 

Dave had finally calmed down, it seemed, judging by the way his hands had gone slack over Karkat's back and the tension had left his splayed thighs. Good. It might be safe enough to let go, in that case. Pointed teeth parted from flesh as the troll shifted and raised his head, studying Dave's face with interest. The cool-guy immediately tensed back up and growled, readying for another attempt at flipping them over, but Karkat wasn't worried. He had a plan.

Or at least, he had a target. Undulating his tentacles in exploration, he located the spot he had been informed about by his human companions and began rubbing circles over it. He had an excellent view of Dave's face as his jaw dropped open and his red eyes widened, gasping in shock as his body spasmed beneath Karkat's. The troll took vicious pleasure at the sight of it, and the knowledge that he had finally,  _finally_ broken that insufferable prick's poker face. He almost felt sorry that he had no way to record the image for posterity, but took comfort in the fact that he at least had the memory. He continued his assault on the human's prostate gland relentlessly; treasuring the way Dave's eyes rolled up into his head, showing off his strange, white sclera; rejoicing in the way his hands clung to his sharp shoulder-blades, obviously unaware of the way they were clenching and relaxing in turns.

When the sweat began pouring down Dave's face and his gasps were loudly mixed with moans, Karkat judged that it was time to ease up. He ceased his tenta-bulge's movements, and the fury that flashed across Dave's face at being denied release when he was so close was priceless. He lifted his head and glared at him, eyes burning like two red-hot coals.

“What the fuck, man? Don't tell me you're going to stop here!”

“Oh, I've only just begun, Strider. I just felt like confirming our relationship before we went any farther. I'd hate to find out that you were planning on going back to ignoring me after this.”

Dave let his head fall back with a clonk. “Gog, Vantas, you're such a girl.”

Instead of coming up with a retort for that, Karkat decided to wiggle his nook feelers for the first time. Dave jumped like he'd been touched by an electrical bovine prod, letting out a surprised yelp. “What the hell was  _that?_ Don't tell me you've got tentacles in _there_ , too?”

“Not quite,” Karkat said with a breathy voice, turning rather red himself. Dave's flesh bulge filled him up so tightly that his feelers were already swollen from the pressure, and trying to move them when they were this sensitive was agonizingly pleasurable. “So tell me. Are you going to be a proper kismesis?”

“Vantas, I am going to KILL you! You've been pining for my enmity? Well, you've _got_ it, you miserable little fucktard! I'm going to gouge your stupid red eyes out and serve them to you on a platter! I'm going to fuck you up so bad even your Ancestor will be black and blue! Or whatever-the-fuck colors your lame gray skin turns! You think you hate your past and future selves; you've got _nothing_ on the raging hate-on I've got for you _right fucking now!_ I'm going to saw off those stupid nubby horns of yours and eat them like candy c--”

Karkat dived forward and devoured his lips, breathing loudly through his nose as he clutched Dave's head in his clawed hands. The human wasted no time doing the same, running his fingers up through the wiry black hair and gripping the aforementioned horns tightly. Karkat suddenly whimpered down Dave's throat, rewarding the human with a reflex spasm of his nook feelers.

They broke the kiss and stared at each other with wide, red eyes. Dave's narrowed, and he gave the horns a good stroke. Karkat shuddered, trying hard not to loose control. The human smiled darkly and tried again, this time circling around the pucker of skin where the horns joined his head. Karkat moaned and lost control of his feelers again, which in turn drove them both crazy.

They paused again, glaring at each other. Karkat wriggled his tentacles against Dave's prostate, making him arch with pleasure before rubbing the base of the troll's horns again in retaliation. Moments later they were kissing wildly and sloppily, their different shades of skin turning the same red color as they struggled to hold out while still egging the other on.

Dave shuddered at the overwhelming sensations that were engulfing his being. Though his instincts said to buck his hips, such movements were apparently unnecessary for troll sex, leaving him instead as some kind of passive receiver. And  _oh_ the feelings he was receiving! That mercilessly unrelenting massage occurring deep inside, where he couldn't reach, combined with the numerous tickling touches engulfing the length of his erection, was blowing his mind. He couldn't think anymore, could barely even register the sound of approaching footsteps and voices.

He had no choice but to notice the intrusion, though, because Karkat suddenly froze, putting those glorious sensations on hold. Dave finally turned his head to see what the problem was.

Two figures stood in the corridor, staring with gaping mouths and shocked expressions. His best bro and the spiderbitch, to be specific. John was turning a blazing red color before Dave's eyes, and Vriska might have been a shade bluer than normal as well.

If it weren't for the fact that his shades were still missing, the cool-guy might not have even cared. Even without them, though, the most pressing concern that was flashing insistently through his head was the fact that their presence had caused Karkat to _stop_.

Dave stabbed the two intruders with the deadliest glare he could muster, which, considering the fact that they had never even seen his eyes before, was pretty damn effective.

“GET. THE FUCK. OUT.”

They jumped like they'd been burned, which Dave figured was a good enough sign of their compliance. He grabbed Karkat's head, forced him to turn it back in his direction, and pulled him down for another sloppy kiss, full of cutting teeth and battling tongues. The troll was hesitant at first, but quickly recovered his previous fervor, at last resuming the ministrations of his bizarre genitalia. Dave assumed that meant the source of their interruption had left, although at the moment they could have been setting up cameras and he still wouldn't have given a flying fuck.

He finally remembered to resume his treatment of Karkat's horns, and the troll suddenly broke away with a gasp. “Oh fuck, I need a bucket!” he croaked, as if only remembering that fact now that his orgasm was seconds away from sweeping over him.

“Forget it, man, we're painting the town red,” Dave wheezed, unable to even come up with the slightest insult. He gasped at the sudden spasm that flexed through Karkat's body and into his through groin-to-groin stimulation. With a moan he tilted his head back, exposing his blood-streaked neck to Karkat in a gesture that he would later _furiously deny_ having ever made. His thighs trembled in exhaustion as the heat of his pleasure burned through his body, hovering agonizingly at its peak.

Karkat couldn't possibly resist the expanse of tender flesh that his fated enemy had willingly presented to him, so he didn't. Fangs nipped gleefully into his neck once more, and with the most erotic wail the troll had ever heard, the normally stoic human toppled noisily over the edge.

Karkat knew, in theory, that the position he had chosen meant that Dave was going to be firing his genetic material  _into_ his body, instead of down into a bucket like a sensible person. Knowing and  _feeling_ were two different things, however. Suddenly a hot liquid was squirting the wrong direction inside his nook, coating his feelers with its curious thickness and striking in rhythmic blasts against the sensitive membrane of his seed flap, the valve at the top of his nook that released his genetic material. Karkat shuddered and let go of Dave's neck, then shuddered again. Oh gog, that felt _weird_. And good. So. Fucking. Good!

As Dave rode out his orgasm in ecstasy, astounded by the way it was overwhelming him, Karkat was pushed messily to the end of his own rope by his partner's ejaculation. Red faced and sweating, he clutched the Strider's blond hair tightly as he surrendered to the inevitable and erupted, red fluid gushing out of his seed flap and blasting over Dave's over-sensitized dick like a pressurized hose before bursting out of his nook and all over the human's groin, thighs, and stomach. It pooled beneath them, soaking into their wrinkled pants and sweat-drenched shirts.

For the longest time they just laid there, shivering with exhaustion and a growing cold as the heat of passion was replaced by the sticky damp of sweat and release. Karkat's bulge slowly retracted back into his bone sheath, finally prompting him to slide off of Dave's wilting member and sit up, surveying the damage. Oh  _wow_ did they make a mess. Or rather, oh wow did he make a mess of _Strider_. Karkat came out of the ordeal relatively clean. He eyeballed his new lover, admiring the way his pale skin looked when splattered with his red genetic material and marked with slightly bloody wounds in the shape of his bite.

“Not a bad look for you, Strider.”

Dave held up two middle fingers for his viewing enjoyment.

“So, you gonna help me clean this up, or what?”

“Hell no, why would I do that?”

“Because otherwise I'm not going to let you use my shower and laundry before you go prancing off to your own corridors.”

“...fuck.”

* * *

Vriska and John leaned back against the door of John's quarters, mortified and unable to get the sound of Dave and Karkat's moans to stop echoing in their heads. If they had known beforehand about the sight they would find in the intersection to Vriska's corridors, they would have opted to go to John's in the first place.

“Really? Dave and Karkat?” John mumbled in disbelief.

“Makes sense to me,” Vriska said a moment later, shakily. “They've hated each other since the moment they met.”

“Oh. Right.” John was silent again for a few minutes, rubbing his hands over his arms in an incessant, unconscious gesture. “I just can't believe Dave was on _bottom_.”

Vriska laughed. “You know how Karkat loves to lead! I'm sure he'll pay for it later, though.”

John gave a little laugh in return, which got Vriska going again, until they were both laughing in nervous hysteria.

“Oh, man! Did you see the look Dave gave us? I just about shit myself right there!”

Vriska punched him merrily in the arm. “Eeeeeeeew, John, I didn't need that image!”

“I guess that finally solves the puzzle of what color his eyes are, though!”

“Oh, yeah. They were red, weren't they?”

“Yup!”

They stopped laughing at the same time, an ominous silence echoing about the room as they followed that thought to its logical conclusion.

“Um. You don't suppose... _that_ was somehow our fault, do you?” John asked with a nervous laugh.

“N-no way, of course not...” Vriska responded, but without her usual confidence. 

“It's probably just coincidence, right?”

“Exactly!”

“And even if it _was_ our fault, it's not like they'd do anything about it, right?”

“Uh...”

Blue and white eyes turned to look into blue and orange.

As one, two sets of hands rushed to lock the door.


End file.
